Miscarried… A Letter to My Unborn Child

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My sweet little one,

I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that for whatever reason you couldn’t join us here.  I’m sorry for all you missed and didn’t get to experience.  I am so sorry I didn’t get to meet you, hold you, nurture you and watch you grow.

I rejoice in your life none-the-less.  And I rejoice that you are knowing an incomparable LOVE in the eternal moment of Heaven.

Today I mourn the loss of your life, grateful that you are in the arms of your Creator.  Yet I have hope.  Hope that you will change the world; not by your feet walking the Earth, the power of your words nor the impact of your decisions.  You will change the world because your existence changed me, hoping for you altered my perspectives.  The presence of your life growing in my body showed me the power of our God and the fragility of life.

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I will not know your personality or passions during my lifetime – but someday I will know you…I just have to wait longer than the few remaining months of my pregnancy.

I will not allow the shortness of your life lack impact on the Earth.  Your life, though brief, will not be without meaning.  You will never know breath in your lungs, the taste of sweetness, nor feel the tenderness of my kisses.  You will never know the burn in your lungs when you run full force across a field for the ball or the exhilaration of jumping from the diving board into a pool for the first time.  You won’t know the butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you fall in love nor the beauty and intimacy of marriage or the joy of having your own children.

Nor will you know disappointment, fear, anger, sickness nor despair.  You will never cry.  All you will ever know is LOVE, JOY and PEACE nestled in the HOPE we wait for.

You were designed to be royal and priestly.

You were knit together with a destiny and it will not go unaccomplished.

What He begins, He finishes.

Your LIFE marked me and I will never be the same.  You made an impact.  And because you changed me – you changed the world.  To what degree, perhaps you can see now, but I will have to wait for.

We named you Hope.  And now you live in our hope because of where you are.  The remembrance of your  life has become a declaration:

Our true HOPE is in Heaven!

I love you and can’t wait to meet you.

Love,

Mom

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29 thoughts on “Miscarried… A Letter to My Unborn Child

    Lynnie Harlow said:
    October 7, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    So beautiful Debra…for all us mothers that have lost a little one I say, YES and AMEN.

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 7, 2013 at 2:56 pm

      Aww, Lynnie, Thank you!

    tanicr said:
    October 7, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    So beautiful, powerful and full of love.
    Amen

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 7, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      Thank you, thanks for reading!

    amy said:
    October 7, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart.

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 7, 2013 at 3:27 pm

      Amy, You’re welcome!

    Bob Burdue said:
    October 7, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    For Hope….YOUR MOM WAS HAND PICKED SPECIALLY FOR YOU!
    Uncle Bob

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 7, 2013 at 5:18 pm

      Ahh! Bob, that’s beautiful. I know you understand!

    mrsjessicamcdonald said:
    October 7, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    So beautiful! I miscarried my son a month ago, and it’s so nice to hear the words I’ve felt so eloquently put here in your blog. It’s so important for us moms of angels to discuss our babies in Heaven, to give us hope and know we aren’t alone, and to help our babies feel more real to us.

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 8, 2013 at 10:37 am

      I appreciate you sharing your experience. Miscarriage is so common and yet needs to remain personal and the life pertinent. I am sorry for your loss and pray you experience all the Prince of Peace has to offer. Many Blessings!

    Cheryl said:
    October 7, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    Still catching my breath… I’m so sorry my dear friend. I wish I could give you a big hug. Thank you for your vulnerability, you and Hope have made an impact in my life today! I love you and miss you

    P.S. You are an AMAZING writer 🙂

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 7, 2013 at 9:48 pm

      Cheryl, my friend! Thank you – and … we should talk. Miss you!!!

    Cindi Karzen said:
    October 7, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    For Hope … I am sorry I never got to meet you or that your cousins got to play with you – I can’t wait to meet you! for Debra…You have handled this with grace and that can only be from God above as he continues to hold you close! I love you..

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 7, 2013 at 9:48 pm

      Cindi – I love and thank you!

    Kim Watson said:
    October 7, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    What a beautiful letter to your unborn child! I am very sorry for your loss which is momentary until you meet Hope in heaven, but painful. I too have little ones in heaven whom I look forward to meeting and embracing one day.

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 7, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      Kim, I am sorry for your losses. Not one is the same. May we each see our blessings until those meetings. Thanks for commenting and sharing.

    Stacey said:
    October 7, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    Debra, this is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing Hope with us! Love you & love Hope.

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 8, 2013 at 10:34 am

      Stacey, You are welcome! Thanks for reading and love you too!

    Christi said:
    October 31, 2013 at 4:12 am

    Debra, I am just seeing this… So sorry! Your choice to respond in this manner will impact the world, no doubt. Love your spirit… Will be praying for you! 🙂

      Debra Bell responded:
      October 31, 2013 at 7:08 am

      Christi, Thank you for the prayers. God’s grace continues to be evident to us.

    twrightlove said:
    November 5, 2013 at 12:14 am

    This is the 2nd post I’ve read this week about miscarriages. I don’t want to say I’m sorry, because I don’t feel that it would help. I do believe it takes great courage to share something like this, and I’m sure it helps to get it out. May heaven smile upon you! 🙂

      Debra Bell responded:
      November 5, 2013 at 6:29 am

      Writing it did help. I actually wrote it for her memorial not a blog – but then decided it was a good thing to put out there. Perhaps someone else may find comfort.
      Blessings to you!

    Greg said:
    May 4, 2014 at 3:22 am

    Debra,

    My wife and I lost a twin almost 2 years ago, but for some reason, I am just now beginning to grieve. I miss her so bad I can’t stand it despite the fact we never got to meet her. I found much comfort in your letter, and look forward to the day I can meet my little Autumn.

    Thank You, Greg

      Debra Bell responded:
      May 5, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      Greg,
      I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate to the delayed grieving, just after my due date I had a hard time, it took me by surprise. It helps to acknowledge that there is no wrong way to grieve. I hope you continue to find deeper comfort. Thank you for commenting – it helps to know my sharing makes a difference.
      Blessings,
      Debra

    Levs said:
    October 31, 2014 at 11:46 pm

    I know what your going thru, I even lost a child in miscarriage & not only 1 but 3 .. I was so hurt that I want to close the door but you know God give me peace through his word (JER. 29:11) yes we might not understand everything but as long as HE was beside us we are Overcomer.

      Debra Bell responded:
      November 1, 2014 at 9:20 am

      Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I believe trust without understanding is a core element in Faith. He has been incredibly Faithful over the past year.

    Katherine Bell said:
    June 28, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    Thanks for sharing your letter. I miscarried on 4-11-15. It has been a tough road to walk. I not only have to deal with the miscarriage but also have to deal with the whole sex outside of marriage crap.

    Connie said:
    October 8, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    I have no words to comfort you, just know my heart is broken for you and your family. Your beautiful words are so inspiring. And know your family loves you.

    Jennifer said:
    October 8, 2016 at 9:35 pm

    Wow. I have no words.

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